Feeling lost and detached – from the person you thought you’d be to the places you thought you’d reach in life but didn’t – is a common phenomenon for everyone. I’m yet to meet a person who hasn’t experienced bewilderment.
Sometimes the journey and the path which led to where you are now hold choices you regret and unresolved mistakes. The cracks that have been patched over and repaired with whatever tools you had at the time become deeper when life wakes you up with grief, endings and other life changing events.
Big life events can wake you up from the familiar rhythms of life and evoke the question: what are your hopes and dreams? This can be very scary, and many choose not to take the reins in their own destiny. The old, familiar groove of rumination is easier than actually looking at the roots of who you are. Why be a driver when you can be the passenger in other people’s lives (even if you don’t like how other people drive or where they take you)?
This is your relational constellation forging your destiny; it’s very easy to become lost in who you are when you are preoccupied with those around you. Here’s the scary truth: it’s easier to be a passenger when you don’t like parts of who you are and who you’ve become. Why would you drive when you don’t like your driving or regret the roads you’ve taken before?
Truth and freedom always go hand in hand, but the path to any form of liberation involves fear and conviction. In other words, to make the unconscious conscious and live a soul-led life, you have to really see yourself: the neglected bits, the frightened bits, the shame, the glossed-over mistakes – only then can you re-anchor and reconnect with hopes and dreams and find a new sense of purpose and meaning.
Slowing things right down allows the opportunity to truly see. There’s a reason anxious people are quick to panic. Perhaps sitting with that uncomfortable feeling can allow a greater introspective and a longer lasting solution to the existential fear of who you are. Reassurance will only provoke deeper dissatisfaction.
Get cozy with the unfamiliar bit you avoid, have a cup of tea with it. What wisdom do uncomfortable truths have to say?
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